Question: Can someone please help me remove the invisible sign I seem to have on my chest that says "Bitchassness, Welcomed!"
OK OK OK, I know you must be thinking, "OMG, what happened Des"..."The last blog was so happy and positive" Well, NOTHING has happened, nothing whatsoever, zilch, nada....and that's the problem. You know, I think of maintaining relationships, whether it's friendships, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, or whatever, as a ZEALOUS process. Websters dictionary defines "zeal" as an eager and ardent interest in the pursuit of something...think enthusiasm...passion. And when it comes to relationships, in order to maintain that closeness and connection...it takes some, well, zeal. So, where is the gosh darn zeal? A lot of men I have come in contact with seem to lack the "zeal factor," and my latest guy mountain is seemingly no exception (insert sad face here). I mean, trying to maintain a relationship is a PROACTIVE NOT INACTIVE thing. My initial reaction is to take it all as a hint....you know that whole "he's just not that into you" approach, and let the lazy bones kick rocks because I feel like i'm totally worth the "zeal factor," but gosh darnnit, now I'm mad. It all comes down to the age old question: what was it all for? The sweet nothings, the trips, the promises, the time shared...WHAT WAS IT ALL FOR if you were just going to be lazy, and take that whole out of site out of mind thing to a whole new level...if you were going to just fall off the GPS...if you were just going to be SO TYPICAL! I don't get it. For me, it's easy to take one failed situation, then start thinking about all the other similar failed situations, then your blood begins to boil, you work yourself into a hot mess, and start kirking out on the next unsuspecting soul you encounter (sorry Starbucks guy)...and that's what has happened. I am so tired of "the woo" effect manifesting itself into "the poo" effect. You know that whole, I'm gonna say and do whatever I can to get you, (even if I don't really mean any of it) and then when I get you I'm just gonna shit on you and walk away...hoping you have a good pooper scooper. If you can't tell, I'm doing a little bit of a sound off (my best friend is asking that I "calm down") because I'm TIRED. Tired of not knowing who I'm dealing with when I let a guy in. It's like is this YOU or the "fake" YOU? Is all this hoopla genuine, or do you really JUST want my crouching tiger (if you don't know what that is, find a ledge, thanks)? Of course I turn everything introspectively..."what's wrong with me"..."what did I do"..."did I drunk dial you and offend you"..."I'm so confused." I like to think I'm a good judge of character, and then some stupid boy does something, uh, stupid, and I'm like "wow, that was totally unexpected." Just goes to show you, everyone and anyone is capable of doing everything and anything...given the right provocation (is that a word?...ha ha, it is!). Is it so wrong to believe in following through, keeping it real and abiding by the golden rule? Is that really too much to ask? Maybe it is...
Bottom line: Where do I meet these losers? Oh, that's right, EVERYWHERE! Thank GOD for the best safety net.
Love: Half time.
women*
ReplyDeleteI actually had a conversation about this very thing a week ago while watching football (Of course I was annoyed because football was on lol).
ReplyDeleteBottom line (you like how I stole that from you huh? lol) You have to set the tone for how you will be treated. Far too often, when allow themselves to be treated any type of way because of all these studies that show a lot of women won't get married. The thing is though, once you let a guy get away with one thing, he's gonna push the envelope. Not only with you, but with the next chick. Women have to stand up and face the possiblity with being alone for awhile in order to set the standard. If you keep waiting for guys to change, you're gonna die an angry black woman...Which is what the world will have you believe you ar any way.
So basically Dez, what I want you to do is right a list of things down that you will simply not tolerate from the opposite sex. Then once a guy approaches, you have a set up standards to measure him by. If he doesn't meet those standards (no matter how good he looks :-P) you have to cut him loose. It gives you all the control over the situation, instead of relinquishing it to guys who shouldn't have it.
Just one mans opinion ;-)