It ain't Rocket Science.

Question of the day: how hard is it to return a message? Whether it's a text message or a voice mail message, the ignoring of either is just plain rude and inconsiderate. It's easy, even when you don't like the person that much...just say SOMETHING. Now, it's understandable if you don't return a message from the crazy person who stalks your every move, or the ex who is on the verge of becoming the crazy person who stalks your every move, but if a person is neither, why can't they receive at least a courtesy response? The guy of yesterday....let's just call him "Mr. Athlete." That title alone should say enough about him right there, but I always try to give someone the benefit of the doubt regardless of their occupation...unless they turn tricks for a living; there's no negotiating there. Anyway, Mr. Athlete was someone I had really started to like. In the beginning, he treated me nice, he was very handsome, and I enjoyed his company. However, it was a long distance thing, and after my last long distance attempt I swore I would never do it again, but I took a chance because I was really interested. Things were pretty good for a month or so, and then he had flown me down to see him, and that went even better. Then the flip came, the super deluxe 180. All of the sudden I started to hear from him less, as opposed to at least once a day. It seemed like things weren't as they were before. I just chalked it up, and attributed it to his athletic schedule becoming more demanding. I figured he wouldn't fly me down there for just...well you know. That's a pretty expensive booty call. Ha, maybe not for a successful athlete you might say. To make the long story short, he went out of the country, and that was the last I heard from him. He gave a minimally adequate explanation for the reason why he was staying mum when it came to my messages and phone calls, via facebook message. However, I completely understood his situation. In fact, you could call me Ms. Understanding! Still, the silence continued, and I began to wonder was his explanation the real reason why I hadn't heard from him. He did eventually asked me how I was via blackberry message (no voice on voice contact has occurred since his trip out of the country at this point), I replied, and asked him how he was, and I am still waiting for his response. It's been at least a month and a half. Oh the irritation! I am a straight forward kind of gal. You can tell me if there's someone else, or you just don't want to talk to me, or whatever, but at least have the common courtesy to tell me SOMETHING! I'm not one to hold a grudge against someone, especially if they're just being honest with me. But it does take courage to be honest with someone, especially if you don't want to feel like the bad guy. Most people don't have the gumption for it. Still, it really grinds my gears that a simple "how are you message," can't even get a simple "I'm doing fine," response. I am still even a big enough person to inquire about his well being because unlike him, I apparently was the only one who cared in the situation. Unfortunately, I still gets nothing! It's obvious he can't seem to think outside his own atmosphere. It sucks cause I really didn't peg him for the fake and bake, fund your jet setting, sleep with you, ignore you and keep it moving kind of guy. I really thought he was better than that...had more respect. Guess I was wrong. Bottom line: Nobody's perfect, but always remember the golden rule: treat others how you would like to be treated...cause Karma is a bitch, and it'll get ya no matter how wonderful of an athlete you are! Just stop and ask yourself, "How would this make me feel," and you'll be a better person in the end.

~I'm not bitter...just a little damaged.

Easy button please...no, for real though!

Question: Why can't an easy button, like the one in those staples commercials, really exist?! Not the kind that when you press it legal pads, pencils, and staplers come falling down out of the sky, but an easy button for life. When that guy of the hour says or does something utterly ridiculous and beyond stupid, pull out that handy dandy easy button, press it, and he'll rewind and say or do the smart and more logical thing. How about when there's work and personal issues pouring heavily out of your ass, and not enough time in the day for you to handle it all, press that handy dandy easy button and there are now days 30 hours long as opposed to 24. Or even when your cars been towed, and you have to pay over $1975 to get it back in your custody (yes this happened to me last week), oh, but you've got your easy button, press it and thousands of dollars suddenly appear in your hands just in time. When your boss pulls you aside for the cabillionth time to remind you that casual Friday's doesn't really mean casual, just press that easy button to put his ass on mute. Oh, it would be so lovely....so relaxing...so...easy. Today, I sat in my car, as the rain poured down over my dashboard, and a slow jam by Mariah was coming through my speakers (dramatic, I know) thinking about all the things I had to do and not enough time to do them in, thinking about that guy who disappeared so abruptly with no warning and it still hurts my feelings to this day, thinking about my future and how everything is so uncertain, nothing is even close to being final, and then I just let the tears come streaming down. These last couple weeks have been rough ones for me in all facets of my life, and everyday I wonder why everything has been so hard lately. From work, to school, to love...it's all been a roller coaster ride. Not the kind of roller coaster ride, that when you get off you want to go back on again and again, but the kind you throw up on, turn pale, and pass out afterwards. Yeah, I've been on that one for about three months now. Searching for answers to why it's been like this, and trying to figure out if perhaps I had some bad karma stored up somewhere that was now being put to use. Nevertheless, after my dramatic tearful moment, I got to thinking less pessimistically...crying in my car, in the rain, in the dark, is only going to make things seem even more depressing. I just gotta keep pushing...through the heartaches, through the headaches, and through the mistakes. I'm nearing the end of one journey, and getting ready to start a new one.
Bottom line: If things were easy gas wouldn't be a million dollars a gallon, and Bush wouldn't exist. If love was easy we'd all be in it. If life was easy than there would be nothing to look forward to. With that said, grab your barf bag, take some Advil, put your hands up and enjoy the roller coaster because you only get to ride it once.

~I'm not bitter...just a little damaged.

I like the movies, but this is reality sir

Question of the day... what is the point of playing make believe? I had planned to be the belle of the ball this weekend when attending my colleges' version of the prom. I was ready to put on my freakum dress, three and a half inch heels, grab my satin clutch bag and go...that is until my date, let's call him "Mr. Africa," decided we weren't going, but forgot to send me the memo. Last night I attempted to confirm this disappointing news, but my message seemed to get lost in the dark abyss of nothingness. However, today, in the middle of my fried chicken and french fries lunch with my good friend, "Mr. Africa" trotted along to say hello. As he commented on my friends hair, I sat there thinking, "hmm, is he going to acknowledge the issue at hand?" I guess that idea would be too much like RIGHT. Instead he took a man approach, and decided to ignore and stay mum. He proceeded to rest his African hand on my shoulder, smile, and ask how I was. I wondered if this was the part where I was supposed to be friendly, and reveal the splendor that is my life. Ha! I was never a fan of playing make believe. I could have given him frost bite with the cold shoulder I graced him with. Up until then he had catapulted himself into the role of a wannabe prince charming, whom I should feel grateful to have the opportunity to date. But he can't even keep a date, and there's nothing charming about that. Here's the thing, "Mr. Africa" took it upon himself to ask me to the grown up prom, knew that it was something I really wanted to attend, and that this year was my last chance. Now, we're obviously not going, and the tickets are sold out. No explanation, no apology, no anything. Rude and inconsiderate don't even begin to describe it all. To top it off, he still expects me to smile and speak to him as if everything is just peaches and cream. I don't think so. Not only did he waste my time, but he got my hopes up for something only to knowingly let me down. Bottom line: This is no Disney movie, and don't pretend to be something you're not. Just be a man, and honor your commitments. 

~I'm not bitter...just a little damaged

Bwhhhaaaat?

Question....when is the right time and place to tell someone you think that you're falling in love with them? Over a candle lit dinner maybe...during a beautiful sunset...after a great night of love making...in a crowded movie theater right in the middle of the movie? Bwhhhhaaat? Probably not the last one right. Well, tell that to the guy of the hour. While watching the movie 21 last night, in a packed movie theater, sitting right in the middle of all the popcorn and candy, he sighed and whispered, "I think I'm falling in love with you." Completely caught off guard because I was watching the movie, and so in to what was happening, I didn't know what to say but, "what???!?" Thinking, maybe he's just playing around, and that he can't possibly be serious, I smiled nervously waiting for him to smile and say "Just Kidding." Oh, but that did not happen. In fact I was met with the serious face, and the aren't you going to say something raise of the eyebrow. So what is a girl to do? For the first 15 seconds I just stared at him blankly, and then the rational and realist side of me began to ponder. This movie marked the third time that we had hung out...EVER, and now he was falling in love? Hmmm, he obviously didn't think this one out too well. On top of that, why was it so easy for him to just trip and start falling in love with me, when the guy before him found the very thought impossible? Sigh. I decided to simply pat his leg, and say that this was not the time to talk about something like that, but now, throughout the remainder of the movie, that was all I could think about. He didn't make it any easier with the face he had plastered on (the "oops" face) after I suggested we wait to talk about "love" later. It also didn't help that I had already planned earlier to let him know, AFTER THE MOVIE, that I was in no place in my life to be in a serious relationship. So, I was definitely caught in an awkward position. I really like him, but I am recovering from the "good ol' fake and bake," and trying to make my peace with it all. Falling in love, again, is the farthest thing from my mind and my heart. I just don't understand why he would think that saying what he said when he said it would result in something positive and progressive? Like I said before, he obviously didn't think this one out too well. Bottom line: So, you "think" you're falling in love with someone, and you've only hung out with them two or three times...well more power to you and how you feel. However, wait a while, a long while, before you verbally express those feelings, and don't do it in a place where you are forced only to whisper. Think things through before you give your mouth the OK.

~I'm not bitter...just a little damaged

The good ol' fake and bake

Question of the day....What is it with men, correction, some men and the good ol' fake and bake? Why do they go out of their way to pretend to be a person they're not? You know how it goes....a nice dinner and a movie, a casual lunch, lovely promises, long days, and even longer nights...all in an attempt to make you believe that they're nice guys who are really interested in you, who can't get enough of you, who simply just adore you. They pursue and pursue even to the point of flying you all over the place to see them (yes, I am speaking from experience.) Talk to you everyday, act like they are trying to make you a part of their lives, and even go as far as making plans for the future...setting dates and everything. Then when they've got you. When you've finally given in, and decided to believe all of the things they've said...taken in all that they've done, and said, "OK, I'll exhale, I'll let him in," they decided to pull the carpet right from under you. As soon as you let down that last guard, reveal that you're open, they go through the great lengths of channeling the great magician Houdini, and pull a disappearing act. So, there you are, speechless, confused, wondering...what was it all for? You try to pry an answer out of them, and either you're met with silence or something semi-safe like, "It's all moving too fast for me (even though he set the pace)." The dinners, the flight itinerary...I mean, if they just lay their cards out on the table, be honest, admit that they're not that nice of a guy, have relatively large issues with commitment, and aren't really thinking much past getting in your pants, at least it would be on you if you decided to still take a chance. Give us women a little more credit. I think men think we are so fragile, and are afraid we'll just freak out, and find it easier to just fall of the face of the earth (Cowards). When in all actuality, honesty is harsh, but for most women I know, we would prefer that over the rejecting of our phone calls, or messages lost in the dark abyss of nothingness. Nevertheless, men find faking a more plausible approach, and becoming invisible an even better exit. I guess it's that whole thrill of the chase thing, or maybe some of them do get scared (HA). Perhaps we as women just ignore the signs. Like, when he usually calls everyday, and then stops, or you ask him where things are going and he looks at you blankly, pretending to not understand what you're saying, or you say "I love you," and he says thanks. Yes, many men are guilty of the fake and bake, but maybe us women need to acknowledge the fact that they are trying to bamboozle us, and stop hoping for a miracle. I had to learn, and I am still learning, but a big red stop sign means STOP. Bottom line: men, admit you bought it from the store, and ladies, don't accept anything less than homemade, just for you!

~I'm not bitter...just a little damaged