PEOPLE READ MY BLOG!!!!
I am always appreciative of blog comments...because otherwise I'm just venting off into some vast blogging world...aimlessly....without restraint...without response...without any feedback...leaving me thinking I'm just talking to myself via Internet. BUT, I especially love those that tell me I know NOTHING about men...that I talk too bad about men...that women are just as bad as men...and that women give mixed singles and blah blah blah...so hey,what are guys expected to do? I agree, women do give mixed signals at times...but so do men...still that's a subject being saved for another blog (coming very soon). However, I just want to say that many comments are directed to the wrong person... You need to be talking to your fellow male counterparts. I always try to make it a point to write only about what I know, what I've learned, what I've experienced, what I've personally seen. I am a professional journalist...I am a songwriter. I am all about the facts and the solutions....things people can relate to. I am the first one to say I HATE GENERALIZATIONS...and I do my best to blog about specifics. Every man, situation, or whatever I talk about is because I felt it, endured it, accepted it, loved it, hated it, was confused by it, and ultimately chalked...it...up. I don't write this cause I want to discredit men. The blog is called Love: a losing game? That's a question...not a statement. I am the perfect example of an eternal love optimist. I want to find those guys to counter those other guys that have tried so desperately to stain the reputation of men...and believe me, when I find him...you'll know. Like I said previously, I only write what I know, what I've seen, what I've felt...this is purely from my perspective and experience. I have come across some idiots...that's just what it is. Don't like it...start a blog and tell them yourself...
Bottom line: I hope you all will continue to read, comment and such...it really makes me feel good that people can relate to what I'm going through, and criticism is a necessary humbling factor.
Love: 0-0
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Love Deal Breakers...friend or foe?
Question of the day: As you get older, do some of those love deal breakers you have just slowly have to become deals?
We all have those things...those little pet peeves...those personal vexations...those deal breakers that make it impossible to date a particular someone. Whether it's as serious as a persons inability to commit, or as petty as the way they chew their food...we are all guilty of pulling the plug on a possible future with someone because of something that just irked your nerves. BUT, as we get older, and that stupid ol time clock continues to tick forward, is it smarter to let some things slide considering the fact your options start dwindle? BUT, would that be the equivalent of settling? And if so, is "settling" really THAT bad? These are questions I have been asking myself lately. I met this guy, who, well, struck my fancy a bit (not too many guys do that on the first impression). Funny, handsome, and EMPLOYED...so I know you're thinking "what's the problem gurl?" Well, he has a five year old son...which means he has a baby momma...which no matter how you slice it, means there is a permanent stream of drama in his life. When I found this out, I just screamed out horrifically "WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY?" Usually kids and baby momma's are, yes, a DEAL BREAKER for me. I once met a guy at a lounge and we were having a great conversation, he was very very good looking, and then he subtly throws in the fact he has two children...I said, "nice talking to you, see ya." and walked away. I mean, the whole idea of dating someone with extra someones is too overwhelming for me, and let's just face it, I'm not really a kid person and in no way prepared to play mommy. Still, if a really nice guy comes along, but already has his own little family, should he just be written off? Should his offspring be his love punishment? I mean, we all have baggage, right? And I don't want it to seem like I'm some kid hater, because I'm not...I just feel kids add one more hurdle/obstacle to the equation. I know me, and this really IS just one of my deal breakers...at this time. Heck, I'm still young, and kidless...I don't want to have to think about re-thinking and settling when it comes to my personal vexations, at least not yet. Plus, I am still on my Man Diet, and am only willing to partake in surface dating anyway...so, I guess these questions don't have to be answered right now. Yet, I still have some moves to make...date or no date??
Bottom line: Think long and hard about those things...those little pet peeves...those personal vexations...those deal breakers, and make sure they are JUST what they are, and not limitations and barriers keeping you from romantic happiness, in disguise.
Love: on an offensive run.
We all have those things...those little pet peeves...those personal vexations...those deal breakers that make it impossible to date a particular someone. Whether it's as serious as a persons inability to commit, or as petty as the way they chew their food...we are all guilty of pulling the plug on a possible future with someone because of something that just irked your nerves. BUT, as we get older, and that stupid ol time clock continues to tick forward, is it smarter to let some things slide considering the fact your options start dwindle? BUT, would that be the equivalent of settling? And if so, is "settling" really THAT bad? These are questions I have been asking myself lately. I met this guy, who, well, struck my fancy a bit (not too many guys do that on the first impression). Funny, handsome, and EMPLOYED...so I know you're thinking "what's the problem gurl?" Well, he has a five year old son...which means he has a baby momma...which no matter how you slice it, means there is a permanent stream of drama in his life. When I found this out, I just screamed out horrifically "WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY?" Usually kids and baby momma's are, yes, a DEAL BREAKER for me. I once met a guy at a lounge and we were having a great conversation, he was very very good looking, and then he subtly throws in the fact he has two children...I said, "nice talking to you, see ya." and walked away. I mean, the whole idea of dating someone with extra someones is too overwhelming for me, and let's just face it, I'm not really a kid person and in no way prepared to play mommy. Still, if a really nice guy comes along, but already has his own little family, should he just be written off? Should his offspring be his love punishment? I mean, we all have baggage, right? And I don't want it to seem like I'm some kid hater, because I'm not...I just feel kids add one more hurdle/obstacle to the equation. I know me, and this really IS just one of my deal breakers...at this time. Heck, I'm still young, and kidless...I don't want to have to think about re-thinking and settling when it comes to my personal vexations, at least not yet. Plus, I am still on my Man Diet, and am only willing to partake in surface dating anyway...so, I guess these questions don't have to be answered right now. Yet, I still have some moves to make...date or no date??
Bottom line: Think long and hard about those things...those little pet peeves...those personal vexations...those deal breakers, and make sure they are JUST what they are, and not limitations and barriers keeping you from romantic happiness, in disguise.
Love: on an offensive run.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
It's Diet TIME!
Question of the day: Diets...good idea or bad idea?
Now, I'm not talking about diets that involve staying away from salty potato chips, or substituting that cosmopolitan drink for a glass of water. I'm talking about the MAN diet. Webster's dictionary defines a diet as a particular selection of food, esp. as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease...well, I have decided to take that same definition and make it applicable towards dealing with my emotional health, and more specifically in relation to how I love and date. We diet to keep our heart strong, lungs clear, blood flowing, brain energized, and weight healthy...But why is dieting to keep our emotions, aura, and overall attitude in good standing so taboo? It is a pretty known fact that if you're sad, in a toxic relationship, or just reeling from a break-up that it doesn't matter how many carbs you cut out...if tears continuously fall from your eyes, and your motivation and determination is at an all time low...you are definitely still in the unhealthy zone. You might be wondering what I mean by a Man Diet...well, first let me say that this is a diet NOT a fast. I'm not saying retreat to your apartment, turn off your phones, put the greatest depressing love jams on repeat and cease all contact with the male species. I'm saying cut the fat, intensely limit the tasty yet toxic men in your life, exercise optimism, and entertain more positive influences. For me, there are men still in my life that fall in that tasty yet toxic category...doing nothing but keeping me emotionally unhealthy. So, THEY MUST GO. There are emotions and negative feelings I am still holding on to in regard to my recent break-up, and some other disasters that occurred before then...THOSE MUST GO TOO. Now, as you "trim the fat"...you replace what you release with a healthier alternative. Replace toxic men and relationships with positive and beneficial ones...replace those negative emotions with more optimistic and hopeful emotions. But remember, before you can begin this diet you must be mentally prepared to commit yourself to bettering your emotional health. I mean we all love Krispie Kream donuts and McDonald's Big Macs...but face it, that stuff will kill you...especially in excess! And for me, i'm more than tired of being sad, depressed, upset, negative, and hopeless...and before I can move on and begin a new relationship I must let go of all that extra baggage. The Man Diet is the perfect place to start...the perfect thing to help me strengthen my soul and my heart. Once again, I must reiterate that this is NOT A FAST...this is a diet to help you see clearer what and who is best for you. Instead of just dating to date, to not feel lonely or sorry for yourself...you date more selectively, more smart, and with your best interest for the future in mind. Now, I know a few posts ago I talked about building a dream love team, being a coach, and having different guys on your roster. Well, no one wants an unqualified, disillusioned, and just plane hot mess for a coach...that is a position you can only take on when you're in your best emotional health. If you're not, it's just some blind, deaf, homeless person trying to coach an all star team. With all of that said, my diet has started, and I plan to be on it for a couple of months...with one focus in mind: getting myself emotionally back to great health!
Bottom line: A lot of things are easier said than done, but this is YOUR life and isn't that reason enough to try all you can to maintain a sense of contentment and good health emotionally and physically? Do what you gotta do to repair and uplift yourself!
Love: on a diet.
Now, I'm not talking about diets that involve staying away from salty potato chips, or substituting that cosmopolitan drink for a glass of water. I'm talking about the MAN diet. Webster's dictionary defines a diet as a particular selection of food, esp. as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease...well, I have decided to take that same definition and make it applicable towards dealing with my emotional health, and more specifically in relation to how I love and date. We diet to keep our heart strong, lungs clear, blood flowing, brain energized, and weight healthy...But why is dieting to keep our emotions, aura, and overall attitude in good standing so taboo? It is a pretty known fact that if you're sad, in a toxic relationship, or just reeling from a break-up that it doesn't matter how many carbs you cut out...if tears continuously fall from your eyes, and your motivation and determination is at an all time low...you are definitely still in the unhealthy zone. You might be wondering what I mean by a Man Diet...well, first let me say that this is a diet NOT a fast. I'm not saying retreat to your apartment, turn off your phones, put the greatest depressing love jams on repeat and cease all contact with the male species. I'm saying cut the fat, intensely limit the tasty yet toxic men in your life, exercise optimism, and entertain more positive influences. For me, there are men still in my life that fall in that tasty yet toxic category...doing nothing but keeping me emotionally unhealthy. So, THEY MUST GO. There are emotions and negative feelings I am still holding on to in regard to my recent break-up, and some other disasters that occurred before then...THOSE MUST GO TOO. Now, as you "trim the fat"...you replace what you release with a healthier alternative. Replace toxic men and relationships with positive and beneficial ones...replace those negative emotions with more optimistic and hopeful emotions. But remember, before you can begin this diet you must be mentally prepared to commit yourself to bettering your emotional health. I mean we all love Krispie Kream donuts and McDonald's Big Macs...but face it, that stuff will kill you...especially in excess! And for me, i'm more than tired of being sad, depressed, upset, negative, and hopeless...and before I can move on and begin a new relationship I must let go of all that extra baggage. The Man Diet is the perfect place to start...the perfect thing to help me strengthen my soul and my heart. Once again, I must reiterate that this is NOT A FAST...this is a diet to help you see clearer what and who is best for you. Instead of just dating to date, to not feel lonely or sorry for yourself...you date more selectively, more smart, and with your best interest for the future in mind. Now, I know a few posts ago I talked about building a dream love team, being a coach, and having different guys on your roster. Well, no one wants an unqualified, disillusioned, and just plane hot mess for a coach...that is a position you can only take on when you're in your best emotional health. If you're not, it's just some blind, deaf, homeless person trying to coach an all star team. With all of that said, my diet has started, and I plan to be on it for a couple of months...with one focus in mind: getting myself emotionally back to great health!
Bottom line: A lot of things are easier said than done, but this is YOUR life and isn't that reason enough to try all you can to maintain a sense of contentment and good health emotionally and physically? Do what you gotta do to repair and uplift yourself!
Love: on a diet.
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