Question of the day: Is it ever OK to play detective with the person your with/dating? I was reading my Cosmo mag today, as usual, and they devoted a whole four or so pages to, "How to Snoop on your man." It went into great detail about what his car says about him, what his place of residence shows, and so on and so on. I couldn't believe the in depth steps and explanations the article had gone through great lengths to reveal. I got to thinking about what snooping is and what it isn't. I remember, back in the day, I had a boyfriend who left me alone with his phone for a good 30 minutes. As I sat there, the temptation had taken over me, and it was just too much. It's like when your parents tell you not to touch that big red button, and then walk away...expecting you to obey, come on! I wasn't looking for anything particular, I was just, well curious...oh, but we all must remember how curiosity killed the cat. I ended up finding pics of another girl smiling, frolicking and carrying on. At that point I definitely had a dilemma. I couldn't go off, yell, and rant like I wanted to when I intentionally invaded his privacy...although it seemed he was in the wrong, I was technically in the wrong too. So, I bit the bullet, and of course looked for another way to bring it up. Still, ever since then I have vowed to never snoop again...unless I had probable cause (another issue for another blog). The lines of snooping and just looking around seem to be a little blurred to me. When it comes to facebook or myspace, is checking your guys' page almost everyday considered snooping? I figure if they allow it to be out there for the entire Internet community, it's public property. However hacking into his account and reading all of his messages is considered snooping...or just going to damn far. I know girls, and guys, (y'all do it too) who have done just that...hacked into all kinds of stuff....phone records, credit card bills, etc...I was even a victim of it. I once talked to a guy who had dated a psycho woman before me, and she got my number from his records and started harassing me. I thought she had taken notes from Fatal Attraction or something. I digress, but when it comes to dating I do feel like it's always good to have a strong and observant eye, but taking it to the extremes, like analyzing the contents in his trash...is definitely doing the very most. I love Cosmo, but it's articles like these that help give ammo to those crazy stalker women coalitions.
Bottom line: If you're going to play Sherlock Holmes and go a snooping, you are bound to find SOMETHING you don't like. If you have to go to the extremes and are plagued with suspicions, maybe there is a much bigger problem in a much bigger picture.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/30/nyregion/30cheat.html?_r=1&oref=slogin (an article the NY Times did a little while ago that I thought was interesting...)
No comments:
Post a Comment