Beep Beep...get the heck out the way!

Question: Why is it so easy to get in your own way when it comes to the road to happiness? For the last couple of weeks I have been frolicking around...floating on air...lost in a hazy love daze, and it's been wonderful. However, because of the overwhelming surprise factor of the entire situation, it has also been suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper intimidating, scary, intense, and down right terrifying. You start to think about how high the new love is making you, and then you make the mistake of looking down...realizing that if you fall, it's a long way to the bone shattering ground. It's only natural that you start to go in to self-protection mode...holding back, becoming aloof, and allowing yourself to engage in mindless arguments. Then you say that one thing, on that one day, that is finally the last straw. That one thing that you know deep down you shouldn't say, but fear has put a barricade in front of your love train and made it nearly impossible to travel along. "Maybe we don't have to be together...maybe we just shouldn't!" As soon as I said it I felt regret seep out through my pores, and immediately wanted to take it back. Here is this great man, completely infatuated with me, and all he asks is to be with me...little ol me, and I'm telling him that it's not necessary. Bwhaaaaat...such an idiot! So, this man, who once had no doubts about our future, now doubts the present and every second after. Just like that the dynamics of our whirlwind courtship completely changed. It didn't take me very long to realize the extent of my mess-up, and after some thought I quickly slapped myself in the face and came to my senses. On one hand I had a wonderful person and happiness, and on the other hand I had no one and misery...hmmm doesn't take a rocket science to figure out the best decision to make. It wasn't easy convincing my now boyfriend that I didn't really mean what I said...it took some explaining and a few tears, but luckily for me he allowed himself to understand!!

Bottom line: After an endless amount of disappointments, it can be easy to wallow in misery and refuse to be happy...you get to throw yourself pity parties and drink an endless amount of wine. It takes courage to accept a good thing and allow yourself to be happy...but if you have the opportunity to do so, DON'T chicken out. GET THE F*$K OUT OF YOUR WAY!

~this happiness is long overdue...