"DING DING DING"...Let's get ready to RUMBLE!

Relationships can be sweet, comforting, passionate, loving, fulfilling, and a beautiful experience, but they can also be difficult, frustrating, time consuming, draining, and down right HARD WORK. Lately, me and the BF have had a few...let's call them tiffs..."that was a horrible thing to say to me,"you don't do what a girlfriend should do," "can you please not talk to my friends so much," "I can't talk to you without hurting you," "I don't feel like you'd be there if I needed you to be,""man up," "can you please just listen"...sigh. Yes, the last couple of weeks have been emotionally tiring. You get into these emotional rumbles, and your voice starts to elevate, your blood begins to boil, tears gather in the bottom corners of your eyes, you're on the verge of saying something you don't really mean, throwing the closest thing to you at that persons head/body, and the situation seems hopeless. When it goes that far it's hard to stop yourself, have a moment of clarity, retreat, and think twice. Instead you wander off into the realm of the WWF. So, what is the right way to fight...the right way to get your point across with as little collateral damage as possible? I know I have been engaging in fights with my BF that break all the relationship laws. I have been a consistent repeat offender, guilty on all charges, but he has also been an active participant...a lively accessory. Still, it comes down to how you want your relationship to be? Do you want the Ike and Tina Turner relationship...toxic, violent, and tumultuous, or do you want a relationship that makes both you and your partner content and satisfied. Most of us would hopefully choose the latter. I know I do. With all of that said, here's some ways to fight right...minus the verbal insults and possible throwing of personal affects.

• When you want to talk to your significant other about something that has been bothering you, make sure that you are specific when you initiate the conversation. This will help them understand what you think is wrong right away.
  
• When you bring up your grievances, make sure that you are criticizing your partner’s behavior not their character. Do not insult or belittle them. If your partner feels that you are attacking their character, they will feel hurt and betrayed. For example, if you think that they were rude to you, do not call them rude, specifically say that they were acting rude. There’s a difference.
• Don’t try to tell your partner how they feel. They know how they feel so let them tell you.
• Listen! Don’t cut each other off. Let your significant other say what they need to say, and when they are finished speaking, it will be your turn to respond.
• Focus on one thing at a time. When you have resolved one issue then you can move on to another one. This will keep you from overloading your partner with grievances, making them feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
• Always try to come to a compromise. It is the best way to resolve a fight. Don’t begin a fight with the mindset that it has to end the way you want it to.
• At the end of the fight apologize, especially if you hurt your partner. The fight shouldn't be about right and wrong, it should be about fixing a problem and strengthening the relationship.

~tips courtesy of http://lakeshoreli.wordpress.com/2008/04/16/relationships-how-to-fight-the-right-way/