Listening...a dead art?

It is no secret that women are more open to verbal communication when it comes to the nitty gritty of a relationship. Still, listening to your partner is just as important as whatever you want them to hear. This is something that can be very hard to do, it's something many would rather not do. Who wants to address hurt feelings, fears, doubts, and concerns to a person you don't want to lose...sometimes you'd rather let them just manifest themselves into the big gray elephant in a room, or let them fester until their fumes morph into a large atomic bomb and explode in the face of an unsuspecting loved one. Needless to say those tactics aren't exactly healthy for a relationship. My BF has this thing where he feels whenever we start talking about the issues within our relationship, a nasty emotional fight is all that occurs. But I feel, if we are both willing to listen, respect, and do our best to understand the other person, than there's no reason for World War three. If we can't talk to each other about how we feel, than how can we function, grow, or love? A relationship cannot and will not work without honest words, and open ears.

"The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choice words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech."
~Edwin H. Friedman