The Guy: Identity protected.
Age: 30's.
Occupation: Successful Club Promoter.
Relationship Status: Longtime Girlfriend.
Episode: Man guilty of immature behavior due to a skewed emotional reaction to a relationship reality.
The Story: For a while, a friend of mine had made it clear to this guy that they couldn't be more than friends. He had a longtime girlfriend, but somehow thought it was OK for him to want more from my friend -- despite his previously mentioned attachment status. My friend definitely didn't need or want the drama. Yes, they would flirt occasionally, maybe have lunch or dinner. He would even express his love, usually through the goggles of some drunken haze, but she would nonchalantly laugh it off. It was fun, and for the most part, it was easy. But with ups, there must also be downs. There were some opportunities and reasons for my friend to end their friendship, i.e. the time he kissed one of her "friends" in a club. However, my friend took the high road, and all was forgiven. That brings us to one ill fated night where this guy found himself...in his feelings. The reason? He was confronted with the fact that my friend was actually seeing someone other than him. How dare she, right? Despite the multiple conversations they had about "just being friends," he allowed himself to feel the depth of some sort of rejection (I can only assume), and in his skewed perception, somehow forgot about his longtime girlfriend. He let his emotions take over, and allowed his brain to obsess. OK, I can't really confirm that, but it seems plausible considering his actions to come. My friend found herself deleted from his bbm. She called to talk about it, and found him unresponsive and short. Now he just gives a "head nod" when he sees her in public...as if they were only mere acquaintances. The whole situation prompted me to ask, where is the love homie? Did you really go stomping off grumbling, "it all makes sense now," and then proceed to go on a deletion spree? Are you a victim of misinterpretation of the idea of "just friends?" Whatever the surely irrational reasons may be, what IS clear, this guy has unfortunately become a casualty...of his feelings.
Bottom Line: Fellas, there is no justification in getting upset because a woman, other than your girlfriend, is actually living a normal single life and dating. True friendship has perspective. Find it, and stop acting like 8-year-olds. **pleasantries**
follow me on twitter...I'm cool, I promise! @desipoo26
OK, first of all, I agree with your bottom line premise. This guy is totally unreasonable and is trying to have his cake and eat it too. It's crazy to think you can have a fully functional relationship and a side affair and think that neither woman should step out on you...HOWEVER, the hero status given to your friend in this story isn't deserved either. One, she's knowingly engaging in a side relationship with a guy who is known to be involved so there's only so much she could get out of that relationship in the first place. Two, I question what the expectation is...I mean he's already shown himself unfaithful on several counts , immature on several counts, and just generally sloppy with his actions so why is it surprising that he acts immature on the back end. Moreover, she didn't lose anything in the transaction. She went in talking to a guy with a girlfriend...she went out not talking to a guy with a girlfriend. I guess what I'm saying is, it's all bad. She's unreasonable to get upset over his actions of cutting her off when he shouldn't be messing with her in the first place. He's unreasonable for getting upset over some woman who is not his girlfriend actually having a life beyond him.
ReplyDeleteOh Trey, I never said she was upset. I may have eluded to her perplexity stemming from his reaction...but that's it. He's the one that REALLY liked her in a way beyond friendship. I also never claimed her as a hero either. The title of this was in HIS feelings. Not who's wrong, or who's right. So, I understand where you're coming from, but you missed the point of the post. Typical man! lol ;-)
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