Question of the day: Why do people try to get away with the BACKWARD apology??
When you want to tell someone you're sorry...for whatever stupid, mean, or inconsiderate thing you did...you should just say I'm sorry for blah blah blah...and that should be it. An I'm sorry followed by a big fat BUT is NOT an apology! It's a cop out. It's a fake. It's a disguised blame tactic. It's insincere, and simply the lead sentence into why you think you're not really sorry. It basically tells the person on the other end of the backward apology that they are well justified if they decide to NEVER acknowledge it was even given. Websters dictionary defines an apology as an expression of regret for a wrong...NOT an expression of a regret for a wrong that wasn't my fault. This type of apology does stem from an actual offense you took part in that had negative effects on another party or parties. Basically, you know whatever you did was WRONG, YET you still feel as though it was somewhat justified. You want to make it clear that it's unfortunate the following events occurred BUT the reason for its occurrence is perfectly understandable...in your eyes of course. Most backward apologies are just stepping stones to more dialogue on whatever happened to cause the apology in the first place. Most backward apologies are rooted in narcissism...and are given to fulfill a satisfaction that makes you feel like a better person as opposed to an ass hole. They have NOTHING to do with the person you're apologizing to. It's no secret that it's difficult to say those two words, "I'm sorry." Pride is a strong inhibitor. No one wants to say sorry first. No one wants to be the one to buckle. No one wants to seem weak...especially after an argument. BUT, I think it really is the opposite. If you can admit you were wrong without a BUT, than your soul is strong and your heart is even stronger...your mind is mature. Just know, a backward apology never warrants forgiveness...just resentment.
Bottom line: Don't say sorry, unless you're really sorry. If you still feel justified in whatever you did...then keep the sorry to yourself...AND keep it moving.
Love: ready to lay the smackdown!
I whole heartedly agree with this. No one ever wants to admit guilt. So the But is really for their ego.
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